I know the requirements, but.......(part 2)

I have to thank everyone who reached out to me and gave me encouragement.  That kind of support is not something that just happens.  Again thank you.

I was able to discuss this with Sifu Brinker.

Here is what was going on in my mind.  As I said I was rolling along not really thinking of a Black Belt.  I had thoughts in my mind, without really having it as a goal, if I was ever able to get to Brown Belt that would be good, that I would have accomplished something special for some one my age.  But for the last few months I began to realize that a Brown Belt is attainable.  I think my apprehension was I  had no plan in my head how to take my training beyond the Brown Belt. 

Sifu made it very clear to me what my plan should be to get to Black Belt.  Do pushups, try to perfect my forms, do sit ups, be nice to people and keep on walking: or as we know it as, I Ho Chuan.  It is very clear in my mind now the path to a Black Belt.  All of us have the ability to get there, we need to follow the plan that has been set up for us.  Everything we are doing in I Ho Chuan is preparing us to get to our Black Belt.  The requirements are there as the plan.  Yes it is a lot of work but we all have the plan. 

What I also realized is what I was doing wrong in my training.  I was not talking to the people around me about my self doubt.  I finally got the courage to let people know what was banging around in my head.  A few days later with much encouragement and discussing the problem I have a new sense of direction. I have a feeling of calm to keep me going to my goal, which is now, as it should always have been, a Black Belt.

My self doubt was mostly about the physical aspect of training.  I would like to add where I am spiritually in my training.  For me this has been the game changer in what I have got out of Kung Fu and I Ho Chuan.   A number of years ago, I can't remember if it was through a blog or a direct talk with Sifu Brinker,  I talked about my guilt with spending so much time at the Kwoon and if this was selfish of me for being away from my family and friends.  At that time he told me (I am paraphrasing) that by becoming a martial artist that every other aspect of my life and relationships will get better.  At the time I understood a little about what he said and was for sure if it made sense.

Roll forward to today. I had a discussion with my wife and sister-in-law a few nights ago.  Both of them said to me that I have become very calm, I rarely get upset at any thing and they see me as a very happy person.  This I attribute directly to Kung Fu and I Ho Chuan.  Both have taught me to be and stay in the moment.  I have taken this to heart and I think I am getting close to mastery with this concept.  I can quickly tell when I am getting out of the moment and I actually stop, breath and get back in the moment.  To me this is how to be happy.  In the moment, I find it difficult not to be happy, as I make it conscious choice.

Anyways I think I better get at it, I have a have a few hundred thousand push ups to do before I earn that Black belt.